FIND MYSELF FOR ME

my dear mom, i just feel so insecure,

a deep mysterious fear just grabs me,

i am crying cats and dogs without a cure,

i need you to just hug me.

 

something significant pulls me into,

i just don’t understand the reason at all,

continual fear of losing someone to

the grip of time, but she has beforehand crawled.

 

since many nights, i have been shedding tears,

counting on her fragments of love,

i am falling apart, there is an unknown fear,

just hug me m mother, with umpteen love.

 

i cannot share these in words with you,

but, my heavy heart will say it all,

find no reason of blaming myself too,

yet dripping tears listen to heart’s broken call.

 

i often wonder mom, does she ever think of me

or am i just a nobody for her now?

that old fear of losing her smothers me,

please let me sleep in your lap now.

 

i may have brought you shame,

but, i never thought it would turn so bad,

you know mom, we were going so great,

now, when i think of her, i wonder where was my bad.

 

you said there are fairies in stories,

where in life are they?

if there were one, i would send my queries,

to chant a spell, to bring a change.

 

mom, i just want to hide under your chunri,

where nobody can see my tears,

mom, please make me sleep by a lullaby,

i am afraid of my own fears.

 

i just don’t want to grow up,

mom,i just want to be your little child,

i think, if she had never left me, mom,

i think, i would have never cried.

 

emotions never see age or gender,

it is just the outburst of memories,

my mom, i feel, like a baby, so tender,

please, mom, just hum me a lullaby.

 

remember, whenever i don’t find anything,

you find it for me,

mom, i have lost myself altogether over that pixie,

please, mom, find myself for me.

 

MEANING:chunri: A scarf or wrap worn with most Indian girls’ and boys’ outfits. It can be worn in countless ways

biplab roy (bipstar.ja)

via FIND MYSELF FOR ME.

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