I SMILE HIDING TEARS OF GOOBYE

THEME: memories hurt… when they don’t fade… and separations seem bitter with passing time….. 

 

out of conscience, our sights collide,

as i dived deep into her mystic eyes,
there was something special and i felt it,
the smile was there but the mystery was a bit.
never knew her before and may never meet her again,
i swear, if lies had wings, they would fly without saying,
just was her rectitude in smile and unsaid emotions in eyes,
i still remember your beauty, ephemeral like the red wine,
not tiring my eyes, a portrait Almighty never painted enough,
not a shade on the page, yet His imagination’s power is you.
 
the walk to Hazi Ali is deep seated like the arteries,
precious yet the purest forms, i found so secured,
every-time you looked behind in search of me,
your images etched deep in my chest that is beating,
i wish that i could have made it till the end there,
or at least would have never left your hand,
 just walked you there, the priced moment in my life,
as the salt waters entered my mouth, 
i looked at you, to find your eyes gazing at mine,
was the most beautiful moment and will ever be.
 
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i don’t know, will you even try to find me anymore
or have i just become a lost soul in your collage of memoirs?
moments have passed and so have days since then,
but, the estrangement has given me a painful time to hem,
as i walk through this beach with transient footsteps,
with fresh memories, i walk ahead alone, but not lonely,
those beautiful moments are with me and will ever be,
i have tried my best to find you, may be
it is what i should accept, yet i smile hiding tears
of detachment that spurt from within,
as my dad says, smile even when it hurts it’s a test.
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LETTER OF HOPE

 

Dear 2013,
subject: lodging grievances against the intolerable misery.

when this new year began, i was wished HAPPY NEW YEAR by my friends and acquaintances. even, i thought that even after all the turmoil that my life had gone through since the past November, there must be a shining end to this nocturnal sorrow. but, it is with great sadness that i inform you regarding a poor performance by 2013 in my life.
it is with great sorrow that you soared me to exhilarating success and suicidal debacles without even giving me enough time to taste the crests. getting a chance in Medical exam was by far the biggest achievement in my life and i just started to feel the magic when the treacherous arms of yours snatched my success. you taught me that, it is not the RANK that is important for education here, it is POWER AND MONEY. let’s not forget, LUCK!
since the last November, i have gone through the toughest time of my life and i just got a feeling, it will continue to be so throughout this year. still, it is a Letter of hope, that the wand of magic might turn my fate around. maybe, i will never get back the girl that i lost, the love that i pilfered, the ambitions that were drenched; but it is my sober request that don’t give me happiness and love to snatch them away in a blink.

 

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Thanking You,

WILL WE STILL BE FRIENDS?

 

“we have been friends over a long time, but since the last few months, i think i have started to like you”-

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this is the statement which we like to say when we fall for someone who is a dear friend of us. but, it is just a like because the real emotions never take the form of words to express. so many times, many good boy-girl friendships turn into both sided-love, but neither of them are able to express their emotions. 

why?

“may be, if i say her/him that i like him, i may lose her/him forever.” it is this provident attitude of loss of the beloved one that chokes us from spitting our emotions. we never want to lose that person forever and endure their sharp machetes of  recoil. it is obvious that this fear is the biggest obstacle and yet it is the only door to take the relationship to a new and beautiful level. 

 

 

it is often a point of debate of human emotions that, how can we love our friends but not make friends our love of life? generally, when emotions take the form of words, it results in a big outburst and stress for both of them, or may be not. we never know what the other person, who we regard as our friend and may have fallen for, may also share the same emotions for us. so, my dear readers, if you have a friend in your life, whom you sort of love and spend your life with, just express your love for her/him.

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you may never know, she/he must be the one whom your life was waiting for to add colors to it. don’t fear of the loss, true friends share the same emotions. just wreathe words to your emotions in the most optimistic and heart-touching fashion, there is always a positive ray of light on the other side of your providence. go for it!

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TOUGH to find, …

Quote

TOUGH to find, TOUGHER to let go

the truth is in our lives, there are obviously few special persons for whom we can walk that extra mile, even when our body has given up. 
the happiest feeling is when they appreciate it and can understand the inclination towards the friendship. 
it is the beauty of any relationship. 
VALUE THE TRUE FRIENDS…. TOUGH to find, TOUGHER to let go… 
Photo: the truth is in our lives, there are obviously few special persons for whom we can walk that extra mile, even when our body has given up. 
the happiest feeling is when they appreciate it and can understand the inclination towards the friendship. 
it is the beauty of any relationship. :)
VALUE THE TRUE FRIENDS.... TOUGH to find, TOUGHER to let go... :)

SMILE

 

 

i forgot how to smile,

since ages i have spent days in cries,
can someone in the deluge of hoipolloi listen?
you might be a clown, joker or an ordinary man,
i will give my entire future in your name,
overflow me with smile, these tears, i hate.
 
learned the enigmatic lessons of love,
went wading through ocean of love, being shoved,
it is not of my concern, if your tricks are old or new,
i don’t intend to bargain a penny with you,
rather, thine price will be priceless, unique,
make my lips stretched with smile and relief.
 
responsibilities burden my neck, i am sixty feet down,
and i am grasping for breathe, are you there my clown?
attachment only gave me memories blemished with tears,
lost them forever, yet attachment, i can’t bear,
i shove myself up to you, Alas friend!
can anybody glean to my groans to nullify my shame?
 
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i haven’t smiled since long ago,
embrace me with assurance, smiles won’t go,
faded with subservient emotions, word i want,
that smile of today, shines forever and all,
can anyone empathize my dark relics of fear?
so, please emancipate my sorrows with smile my dear.
 
till you come, the benches will have a seat
empty beside me; where i sit, i hope to meet,
on this bright alley of life, it is easy to spot me,
unique, with drooped shoulders of self-obscurity,
till then, these tears and sorrows will veil me,
as i rest assured, they will be pulverize by thee.
 
don’t be repelled by my doleful tears,
just let them inundate my face, crystal-clear,
my only desire is to be behold tight,
and gift me my smile and to value my life,
now, all of them have paved their path,
i want someone to eschew theirs to make me smile.
  
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GLOSSARY
 
hoipolloi-The masses; the common people

UNDER THE SPOTLIGHT, BEYOND THE LIFE.

it is just the perfect time of the life

resplendence is more than the spot light.
tremendous sparkles glittering, glasses clinking
with the ameliorating red wine, fruition spring in.
vibes of satisfaction kissing the core
sobriquet smile cloaking elation galore. 
 
eyesight all cheerful, such dubious are those smiles
to trust is easy with miles to walk, but return broken, miles
is tougher to ponder. queries creep inside, behind those smiles
are there cheerful hearts of accolades or assailant’s cries?
convene with hand shakes and hugs, tight to smother
but, enjoying each moment, of love and ultimate flatter
fit into shoes of apathy, wipe off the old yellow-books , scatter
the pages of year-book, a new life with status altogether.
addiction with no rehabilitation of life, to appraisal 
creamy words, to wax up with pride, no reversal
criticism whiz past the ears less, friends seem foes with hazel
hair. conscience’s eerie censures us of betrayal, faces denial. 
 
even life quietly sails under nocturnal dungeons of edification
so, how will the spot lights not turn off, identity risked at deletion?
vales that used to be the summit of the glorious flag
remains a summit, but new flag holder bragging the flag.
facade starts to fade quicker than the phonies turn their back
treachery of troop burns more, trusted ones take a step aback.
 
old best relations are no less than victims of ostracism
prostrated on the floor, with prominent sign of recidivism
all that doomed spotlight left was darkest darkness to blossom
coupled with insecurity secured in the walls echoing so gruesome.
these scars don’t heal till the cold air kisses the skin
till the vertigo is felt again, it is a mark embarking us to win
pushing a little bit more, bending more an inch
drudgery to strive for, the bragging flag to just clinch.
life instilled  over the mountains, as the scars heal to breeze
with the saxophone proclaiming the win, the drumbeats
beat louder, with waving flag soaring, the stab unleashed
under the spotlight, cheers galore, but none to  share emotions deep.
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Biplab Roy